As the boundaries between the Jewish group and others have become more permeable, I have witnessed some unexpected psychological changes. In particular, the intermarriages of the sixties and seventies have produced children and created young families. The author argues that these intermarriages are not doomed, but they need enlightened ethnotherapy - a couples approach that puts primary focus on the cultural differences in the relationships, and explores the issues that got eroticized or swept under the rug during courtship. A conscious decision has to be made: Is the family going to express the ethnicity of one partner's family, the other's, or both? What does such a choice mean? We are dealing with the most primitive human
needs for affiliation and exclusion.